March 8, 2011

• Explaining Things to Kids

  The kitty catching some sunrays before having to go get neutered.

  I didn't wake up thinking today will be the day I explain the birds and the bees to my kids.  I thought it would be a year or two before I crossed that bridge. Today our little kitty was at the vet for his neuter surgery.

  While trying to keep things simple, explaining what was happening to the kitty turned into a full out sex ed session for my 3, 4 and 5 year old kids.  Try keeping a straight face with....

  • 5 yr old boy: "Why is he getting his neuters out?"
  • 3 yr old boy: "WHAT? Cats have tentacles?!"
  • 4 yr old girl: "I don't get what you are talking about, can you show us a picture on the computer?"
  • 5 yr old boy: "Why in the world do we have testicles?  Isn't a penis enough?!"
  • 3 yr old boy: "Mama! The vets are cutting his butt?"
  • 5 yr old boy: "Oh, I was wondering what those lumps in my bladder were about."
  • 5 yr old boy: "What do you mean that isn't my bladder?!  Where does my penis hold the pee?"
  • 4 yr old girl: "Can't you just teach the kitty to keep his testicles to himself?"
  • 3 yr old boy: "Only pets get neutered, right?"
  • 5 yr old boy: "I thought only girls made babies.  I don't want to be involved in the babymaking."
  • 4 yr old girl: "If you want to be a daddy someday, you gotta help make the baby.  Mommies do enough work as it is."

  Afterward, my 5 year old went to our play room and made this block model of the kitty's head. He explained, "I'm sorry our kitty won't be feeling good when he gets home.  I hope this block kitty I made for him will make him feel better.  Attacking my blocks is one of the kitty's favourite things to do!"

  
  How old were your kids when you had to first explain how babies were made?  Have you ever had to explain a spay or neuter to your child?  How did it go?

  • 10:20 pm
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